A Day in my Life :: Dealing with Loss

One of the hardest moment in ones life is when they loose someone very close to them.   A spouse, partner, child, parent, grandparent, close friend oreven a pet.   The impact although different for each person leaves a profound effect and emptiness in their life.

For some people the hurt stops them cold.   They will have little or no emotion.   Just a dull numb feeling on the outside and they pretend to the world that they are just fine.    Others the tears and the pain cripple them for many months.  Many people try to tell them that they will overcome their grief in time.   How will they ever cope with that special person out of their life?

Some people get the chance to say goodbye --- others never get their opportunity to say that last goodbye. 

Its in times like this that people will come to me and to see if their loved ones are ok and if there is a message from them.   They want answers as to why they decided to die?   Didn't they love them enough to stay?   How am I going to go on?

I always find these readings the hardest because the person in front of me is in so much pain and even though a message comes through in the end they still do not have their loved one with them. 

I once had a lady whose husband died from a massive heart attack.   He died right in front of her and there were no time for goodbyes or final closure.    She had no idea that I did readings.  They were both very good friends to our family and finally I had to tell her that her husband had been to see me.   I told her that he asked her to watch the angels beside her bed on the jewellery box.   She looked at me kind of strangely and said he had bought her those angels and she noticed every day they would be in a different place.   With tears in her eyes she asked if he was ok and I responded that he was and told her that he was around by his favorite chair at night time and she smiled a watery smile and declared she knew that she and she could feel him there.

A few months went by and she came to me to do a reading which I did almost at the end of the reading I was seeing something and I struggled with myself to tell her.   So I asked her about her red underwear she had bought.  I was very embarrassed but she proclaimed very loudly to me does he like it and proceeded to show me her new bra.   I laughed very hard and long and said I guess he does cause he kept talking about it.

In one of my earlier readings I was reading for a lady when I saw a small child beside her with a fire truck.   I asked her if she recognized him.   She was very short with me and said no.    I then saw a man come forward in a golf shirt and he reached over her to grab peanuts from a bowl and asked me where "Bob" was.    I asked her if she knew a Bob and a loud NO was my answer.  I continued with her reading and she left not very happy but all day I could not figure out where these two spirits belonged to.   At 7 pm I was just finishing my last reading when a man came down the stairs opened a beer and said "Hey I would like a reading too."   I replied that I would be happy to after I finished up with the lady.   He stood there waiting and I couldn't go on with what I was saying while he was listening.  In the next moment the lady who was hosting the day shouted down BOB GET UP HERE.    Well at least I knew who the one spirit belonged to but not the other.    After dinner I was telling the lady and her husband Bob about my experience.   They let me know they had a dear friend who had died of a heart attack and every night he would come and eat all the peanuts and have beer before going home.

A year later I was doing readings at my sisters and a lady came down for her reading and before we started she was very angry.   Before I even started the reading I excused myself and went up to get a tea.   I asked my sister what was up and she said she didn't know her but she had a reading with me before.   With tea in arm I went back down.   Once I sat down I had quite the surprise there was the little boy with the fire truck.   I said you told me that you did not know the little boy with the fire truck.  To which she replied she didn't very haughty like.   Well, I looked at the little boy and said to her he says his name is "Luke" .   Well she started to cry and said that was her dead son  but he wasn't a baby when he died she said.   I know, I said but that he is showing me a time when he was really happy.   That was why she was so angry the first time with me she thought we didn't bring him through.   Why as a child - he simply showed me a time in his life where he was very happy.  The first reading she left angry because she thought I hadn't brought him through and the second reading she was angry before we started because she anticipated not seeing him again.   When she left she gave me a hug and said how much I had improved in my readings since the first time - I laughed and let it be he was there all along she just chose to ignore him.

Last year a neighbour and a good friend passed away due to a heart attack.  Our community was left in shock, his finance devastated.   He was a friend to many and left a huge hole in many worlds.   He would trot me around the barn and stop me at the but end of each horse and say well is she or isn't she.   He meant is she in foal.   It was a game he played with me being psychic.   Well I got him - he would try to trick me and I would have them all right.    When he realized I had them right when they were in foal he would shift it up to see if I could get the sexes.   So when the first couple came true then he thought he would get me on colour.   He loved this game.   Well the one mare he asked and I saw black and white.   Well was he ever excited.   Well the baby was born all black except for his face which was all white.   So he said to me I see you got this one wrong - I said well how is that - well he said you told me I had a coloured baby coming one with black and white spots so I laughed and said he does have  black and white on him you didn't ask where the white was.    It became a huge game for us and we loved every minute of it.

After he died I spent some time with his fiance trying to help her cope.   Being able to see him shortly after his death and just give her comfort.   Well the one thing about our friend in life was the shock factor was always his biggest laugh and let me tell you it was no different after he died.  I shared this with her and we had some very good laughs and some very good cries.   He loves that all his friends and family still come over and have a drink with him under his favorite oak tree.   A year has passed now and does it get easier?   My friend says she has good days and bad days but in the end its tough to be strong she would just like him here. Its a struggle every day for her.   I wish I could give her my gift just for a moment so she could see how close he is to her.  To help her heal to soothe her pain.   I wish I could give her my head so she could hear his laughter and his chatter to me.   Most of all I wish I could give her closure.